Im so tired from being in the library today but! I will chose to work out! work work work!!!
I almost wanted to give up and not work out today but i decided to just go with it. There’s no use to creating a schedule and giving up on it half way. I’m so determined to finish Insanity. All two and a half months of it.
I SHALL. Warrior mode on! Work out and study hard! kelly’s been an amazing inspiration for me. If she can do it, so can I! ^^
I’ve been watching Supernatural lately and needless to say, I’ve been having constant nightmares. It’s not the smartest choice but it’s such a good show I cant bear to stop. I’ve been sleeping with the bible and it does comfort me. And your cross as well. ^^
Assignments have been piling up. Readings are piling up. Weekly assignments are piling up. I’m so stressed but I’ve been more… zen of late. Taking things as they come and trying to do as much as can. 4 assignments and one major exam due next week. Saying lots of prayers to ask for the patience to sit down and do my work.
And, on top of that. i’ve started insanity! it’s killing me but i’m determined to make it worth it. The no carb diet has proved to be useless. So I’m going to make it especially difficult but adding in insanity hopefully will help me lose weight faster. *HOO HAA!*
Went swimming with liz yesterday. Being such a fucking beauty queen wanna-be, i didnt remove my makeup so i didnt dunk my head in the water. HAHA. By the way, it’s a mother bitch trying to swim with my face above the water. Doggy paddle/froggy style is a bitch to do. LOLOL. oh well. hopefully i can swim with liz again soon! ^^
And. It was daddy’s birthday yesterday. It was really upsetting to be so far away during this celebration. ): I miss my mom and my dad so much. It really does suck that I couldn’t be there. So incapable of saying anything other than the fact that it SUCKS.
Isn’t my daddy just the most handsome man? 😀 hehe
it was porpor’s birthday the day before. Another celebration that I couldn’t be there for. It’s horrible thing to say but I really do have to treasure every minute, my birthday that she has. She’s gotten so weak recently and looks so physically weak and drained. I miss you porpor, I’ll come home to visit soon. i promise. xx
p.s. i love you and i miss you, boo. au revoir. a bientôt.
Supposed to be working out today, but i’m either (a) too exhausted (from what I have no idea) or (b) too fucking lazy. I’ve been planted on the couch for the past 12 hours. Woke up, made breakfast, had breakfast, and went to sleep til 2. And i’ve been doing nothing for the next 7 hours that I’ve been awake….
Insanity has left me in pain. & I ate biscuits today. I’m sure I’m supposed to feel like crap about myself. I still have time to exercise. but I’ve decided i’m just gna say fuck it and sleep. Life is too tiring….
It has always been my habit, ever since junior high school, to ask that question:
“What are you thinking?”
It is always an act of desperation, and I keep on asking, even though I know it will never work the way I want it to.
Love of mine/ Someday you will die/ but i’ll be close behind/ i’ll follow you into the dark
No blinding light or tunnels to gates of white. just our hands clasped so tight waiting for a hint of a spark / if heaven and hell decide/ that they both are satisfied/illuminate the nos on the vacancy sign/ if there’s no one beside you when your soul embarks/ i’ll follow you into the dark
You and me have seen everything to see from Bangkok to Calgary/ and the soles of your shoes are all worn down/ the time for sleep is now/ It’s nothing to cry about/ Cause we’ll hold each other soon/ In the blackest of rooms.
I remember when this was on repeat for an entire week. Getting through from day to day. How time flies…
“I dont wanna be the one to say goodbye.
But I will, I will, I will.
I dont wanna sit on the pavement while you fly
But I will, I will, I will.
Cause maybe in the future, you’re gna come back.
You’re gna come back around
Maybe in the future, you’re gna come back
You’re gna come back.
Oh, the only way to really know is to really let it go.
Maybe you’re gna come back, you’re gna come back
You’re gna come back to me.
I dont wna be the first to let it go.
But I know, i know, i know.
If you have the last hands that I want to hold
Then I know I’ve got to let them go
Cause maybe in the future you’re gna come back
you’re gna come back, you’re gna come back
maybe in the future, you’re gna come back
you’re gna come back
I still feel you on the right side of the bed
and i still feel you in the blankets pulled over my head.
but i’m gna wash away, oh, i’m gna wash away
everything till you come back home to me. “
Walked to usyd with Charlie today! ^^ such a cutie pie. We walked to the university and then walked back home with Liz and Scarlett. (: Charlie was so happy to see her!
Back home in the gong waiting for tmr when the Optus people are supposed to come and fix my internet. Fingers crossed that it happens!!!!
“105 is the number that comes to my head/ When I think of all the years I wanna be with you/Wake up every morning with you in my bed/ That’s precisely what I plan to do.
And you know one of these days when I get my money right/Buy you everything and show you all the finer things in life/ We’ll forever be in love, so there aint no need to rush/ But one day, I wont be able to ask you loud enough”